Family dinner with some relatives at my house tonight and my mom tried to repair the relationship b/w my dad and I but it's not going to happen. She forced him to say something to me in front of everyone but he still couldn't keep disgust out of his voice. Considering the fact that he is the one that initiated the fight and blamed me for something that is utterly not my fault, I should be the one with disgust in my voice. If he had apologized to me within the 3 day window or responded to my attempts to make peace (even though it wasn't my fault - I took the higher road) then I will forgive him. But with his actions, I'm done. I'm done trying and I doubt I'll be able to talk to him without disgust for a very long time.
I'm the kind of person that feels bad for yelling at people for their incompetence. I give second chances the way Paris Hilton spends money. I'm what people call nice - a lot of my friends tell me I'm too nice. Sure, I have a bitchy side that comes out when I'm mad but I generally don't get mad. Some of my closest friends will consider me a bit of a diplomat and a blank slate b/c most of the emotions I show are excitement, happiness, & gratefulness - I try to not utilize the negative emotions b/c that will only bring me down more. This fight was my father's fault and until he apologizes or reaches out in a big way I'm done.
I'm sick and tired of this bullshit which is just pulling me into a hole so I'm done. From now on, I'm a blank slate to him - no emotion will be shown. He doesn't deserve to see the emotional side of me.
I am finished.
Io ho finito.