Saturday, March 13, 2010

Stuck in a Slump

I never thought I would be stuck in such a slump - I'm stuck in the slump where running isn't curing all my problems like it normally does. In the past 1-2 weeks I'm not enjoying running as much and I can't seem to drag myself out and hit the roads, maybe my body just needs some rest. Idk. But this really depresses me, I no longer feel as great post run, during my runs I'm just not hitting that runner's high anymore. This is the worst time to be in such a slump b/c I have the Southlake Half next month and I have chances of topping the ranking for F15-19 in the half. Maybe the expectations placed on me are just unnerving me, people now expect me to go out there and race well, I'm scared of not meeting these expectations and I think they are what's holding me back. I shouldn't be in this kind of slump considering that I'm at my fastest times yet (I recently PR'ed for a 11k), I need to get the ball moving and get back onto the train. I need to reach my 100% fitness soon and I need to run well. In my heart I want to do well, I want to be the top runner, and I even have a secret desire to make the Olympics (which I know won't happen) but my mind isn't cooperating. Sports are a mental game; 90% mental game & 10% physical, what I need to do is to overcome the doubts and get over my slump so I can make my way to the top - it's easier said then done.

In the past few days I've felt like running is only a vehicle for me to remain healthy and in a decent weight but I don't want that to be the reason why I'm running. I am a runner, meaning I'm supposed to run for love of running - not b/c it serves as a purpose (kind of like how some say art is for art's sake). I need to start getting myself back on track.

I need to get my mind to cooperate, normally I love running in the rain but right now I'm not motivated to hit the roads and head out into the heavy rain. I need to cut the doubts in my mind and get onto the road and just let my body think instead of letting my mind control what my body wants. I need to put logic & reason back into 80% and let spirit & desires have their 20%, I can't let others enter my mind and disturb my focus & goals.

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