Frustration

I am so frustrated, angry, & upset. I was supposed to do a long run today but it looks like I'm not even heading out for a run after all. My left knee is really swollen - I've been running on a swollen knee for the last couple of days since it was all bandaged up so I didn't know it was swollen. Right now I just want to cry - I'm racing in less than a month and I can't even get 3 long runs weekly. There is no way I'm racing well - all of this b/c of some stupid idiot who littered. At the rate I'm going I don't think I'll ever be back to the same level I was or will improve. My body wants to run but I can't - my knee is too swollen to bend properly. Southlake is supposed to be MY RACE - the race for me to shine & become the top but I can't even train for it. I HATE HOW ONE STUPID IDIOT LITTERING HAS LITERALLY RUINED MY LIFE, I HATE YOU.

How do people recognize me when I'm running

I dropped by my coach's office at the end of the school day (weekend!) when one of the guys from my XC team told me he saw me running last week when he was driving. I was really surprised since I'm not remotely close to this guy not to mention I didn't even think he knew my name - the big question is how did he recognize me and know it was me? Do I really run so slow that he can see me clearly and have time to match a face to a name? I mean if he knew where as I live that could mean he's good with association of place and people but as I mentioned, we're not close at all.

He's not the first person to have seen me running and comment but his comment today just reminded me of how many times I get comments like his "I saw you running the other day" - apparently my aunt sees me a couple of times a week (not surprising since Aunt H lives in my complex though on the other end), one of my VPs have seen me many times, I've had many friends tell me that they saw me running (one of my friends' mom saw me running and she has never even met me before). It's crazy of how many people tell me this.

Though I must admit my cousin A has never been able to recognize me - she drives and sees some "crazy asian girl wearing extremely short shorts running" and tells my dad about it - my dad then tells her it was probably me (which it was). She now thinks every asian girl wearing short shorts in my area and running is me (as does her brother).

***going to see Bounty Hunter tomorrow (most likely) since we have a "relatively free" weekend - other than my italian paper and huge bio assignment
***didn't fail math test though I didn't do well

Failed 3/4

Ah Mon Dieu! C'est fini!

Bio Quest - let's not talk about it, it was bad and the fact my french oral was cut my time short makes it worst

Orale Francais - in the speech part I failed, I stuttered, paused, & repeated myself. I have never done this bad, it went well until I started talking about the controversies surrounding Brigitte Bardot where I forgot how to say sexual harassment in french and from then onwards it went downhill b/c I started to freak out and hyperventilate - you can hear my shaking.

The conversation part went rather well since I was able to ask her questions and there was no delay in my answers but for some reason I wasn't able to remember the word for "answer" so instead of saying, "dans le club de "reach for the top" on doit donner une response à beaucoup des questions" I went the long way and said a bunch of stuff, "l'objectif de le club de "reach for the top" et respondre les questions". I was kind of surprised at how smoothly the conversation went - I didn't need to translate anything from english to french or from french to english; it just flowed.

ToK Presentation: It was extremely cute and Hallarn loved it, line of the day:
Spinoza: You're just jealous the part of God in my body is more beautiful than the part of God in yours

Math Quiz - failed. I missed up singular matrix & non singular matrix and I messed up #3b. arg. not good.

Going to bed early tonight after only 45min last night, bio lab this weekend & must do italian band assignment for class on Sat.

***woke up at 7/8 pm, went for run at 8, came home at 9
so exhausted

***Fun Side Note:
my friend J.L. came home from HK last night, oral today, he was dead sick so he wore a Asian mask to school, did his oral then went home - laughed so hard when I saw him in his mask. Thankfully I went before him so I didn't get his germs from the mic.

Un-Needed Rest is Horrible

Since my knees are missing pieces of skin as well as my elbow and hand I haven't ran since my 50m on Sunday and it's killing me. I don't care but I have to run tomorrow - I was going to try for a run today but it was raining & snowing and I was told not to get any of my wounds wet in case of bacteria/infections - apparently if either one occurs in my left elbow or left knee I'm in big trouble. I wish I could at least do some core work or squats but that requires some excessive bending and that hurts like hell right now.

I need to run so bad, with all the stuff this week I'm so stressed and the only way to unstress is by running. I have a ToK test tomorrow & a bio lab:S. Thursday is going to be even worst, have to get to school by 7:30 to start writing my bio quest since my French oral is at 9:00-9:15 (during 1st) so inorder to have time to finish my quest I have to get to school really early, I have also have the toK presentation, and a math test that day - 4/4 evaluations:S.

I'm so scared for my French oral, my teacher has a really weird accent (cross b/w quebecois & english) so I can't understand her and 2/3 of the oral is a conversation. I really really hope mine doesn't get sent to the IBO. As of this moment I'm not even done writing my scripted part however the stuff I have written is decent enough and I can just say it - I really hope I get a 6 for French (and a 6 for math).

My ToK presentation is going to be awesome, we're doing a Philsopher's AA with Kant, Hume, Descates, Locke, & Spinoza (ME!) where we kind of discuss our beliefs (as our philosopher) and we bring in aspects of their life - it's really quirky and cute. I hope we get a 90 on it :)

Kind of disappointed in myself about the bio test that we got back, I didn't even make the 70 mark - I'm like.5% off - I knew the stuff but I made so many stupid mistakes like switch up Na & K for the protein pump (0/6) - honestly in 2 questions I went from a 80 to a 69% - it sucks. I did really well in multiple choice but my teacher is really strict on SA. Well I'm learning a lot in that class at least - I'm going to try to kick ass on the quest on Thurs - our group got everything right on the first try in the review activity we did in class today:)

***listening to l'invasione degli omini verd - great Italian rock band
***French oral topic = Brigitte Bardot

I guess I won't be making it to the top @ Southlake

Some stupid idiot threw a huge sheet of cardboard a few weeks ago on Woodbine and I tripped over it today. Thanks a lot, I now have huge pieces of skins missing from my knees, elbow, and hand. I can't stand straight, or walk properly, much less run. I'm going to have to take a few days off from running and wait for it to heal a bit b/c I can't bend my knees and my sport is basically all about bending my knees. Not only that but lifting is out of question as my hand is missing pieces of skin as well as my elbow and I have issues bending it right now. Rowing, cycling & etc are out of question too as I can't bend my knees. I can't run and I can't do anything to cross train in the meantime. What a great time to be injured; the Southlake Half is next month and I need every single long run, tempo run, hill workout, speed workout &etc that I can fit in but now I can't even walk. This idiot better not meet me in person b/c I will take his head off, that is how pissed I am right now. I had a huge chance of becoming the top F15-19 in the half marathon in my province next month but now, if I can even move up a spot I will be terribly happy. I'm just disgusted that someone would leave such a huge piece of cardboard on a sidewalk, how stupid can you be? Honestly, I wish he/she would trip over that piece of cardboard too and sustain injuries worst than mine. Well at least I left a mark on my town - a physical mark, a ton of blood on cement - the vampires should be happy.

I sound so lame and weak, just b/c of scratches (well huge ones) I need to take time of? I ran 18k with something in my hip popped out. I did a season with shin splints. I run in -8C in shorts. The difference is I can't bend my knees or my arm. I'm just so upset, I was counting on the Southlake to bring me good results but now, there's not enough time to train for it properly and to be in the best shape I can be. I was supposed to start hills, speed, and some prelim. steeplechase training this week but that's not going to happen thanks to some idiot. Not only is my road season affected but my track one is too.

***would like to thank the woman and her husband who drove me home and helped me clean my injuries, restored my faith in humanity

Pr'ed surprisingly - 47:55:25

PR'ed! 47:55 - by 3s! should have slowed it down though since I have a long one tomorrow.
I thought my run would be horrible b/c last night my hip felt like it had popped something (left hip this time) but when I woke up today it felt fine so I went out for a run. I thought it was going to be a light run so I grabbed my ipod and went out the door but it was a great run - closed my eyes and just let my legs lead. Ended up with a PR :) but I'm not sure it counts b/c I had to stop to stretch my shoulder - I need to hit the weightroom to strengthen my shoulders, they're cracking a bit again....arg...but I have a long run tomorrow and hopefully it will be great:)

***11k btw.
***amount of bio hw I have shocks me not to mention I have no clue how to do the lab
***:) happy.

The Other Hip - Reason of the Slump

I think I now know why I've been in the slump for the last 2 weeks (for running), today I actually paid attention to every stride I took and I realized my left hip felt like my right hip in late Oct when I had popped my hip flexor. Looking back I think when I was doing squats I think I felt something pull out of place but I dismissed it b/c it wasn't painful and didn't really bother me but as with most injuries they worsen with time and now, roughly 2 weeks later I'm feeling the full effects (well not full effects b/c if I remember correctly, it's going to be worst). At least I now know what is going on with my running. One of my bones in my left hip feels detached from the rest of my body - going to have to see if I can fit in an appointment with a chiropractor (I feel bad though b/c that's another expense placed on my parents)