My Final Decision in Dropping iB

I made the final decision to drop IB about one or two weeks ago - before this I had applied for next year as an academic student but I was 80% sure I would switch back to IB by the end of the year. After looking at my current marks and the field I may be heading in, I decided it would be better for me if I drop the program b/c my marks are horrible right now (low 70s) and at my school the IB is more focused on the sciences so if I want to head toward the business field I should leave the program. I feel this is the right decision but it's a really hard decision b/c I spent the last 3 years thinking I would graduate high school with an IB diploma. I find it hard b/c I know I can finish the program but it's the marks that are bringing me down - my marks untranslated are really low but once translated it should be good enough for 80s - which are decent but not great.

When I drop I know I'm going to be under a lot of pressure b/c if I have an average lower than 90% I don't know what I will do with myself. But at the same time I know if I stay with the program there will be even more pressure with the IOC, ToK essay, Extended Essay, and the CAS hours. I think I would actually be fine with doing the IOC, the ToK essay, Extended Essay, and the CAS hours but what's really dragging me from continuing is IB chem - I don't like chem and I don't think I will be able to survive IB chem, especially since it's HL. It's also a hard decision b/c I know I will be able to de decent/well in IB English & IB Econ. so it's kind of a tough spot. What really made me change my decision is my mark in IB bio right now - 70s, in bio I realized how much I despise doing labs - especially IB style labs.

Overall, even though my marks are terrible this year I'm glad I chose to continue to do Yr. 1 IB - I learnt a lot during this year and the friendships I made over the 3 year period of Pre-IB & IB are truly amazing. With the friends I have supporting me I feel like I can conquer the world. I'm truly going to miss the friends I have who are staying in IB (especially K) and I really want to thank them for our great friendship.

Moving onwards, I really need a 90 average next year and I need to do well with the SATs in Sept - my dad thinks I should apply to NYU, Brown, & UPenn - there's a chance I'll get in if my average is a 90+ next year. If I don't get into the schools in the States I really want to get into Rotman (still a 90%+ school) and maybe switch to somewhere in Europe after first year. I'm not really sure if I even want to study business but it's such a broad field I can always switch out of it if I hate it a lot.

***skipped my run for the 2nd day in a row, so cold and tired today - will do morning run

Un-Needed Rest is Horrible

Since my knees are missing pieces of skin as well as my elbow and hand I haven't ran since my 50m on Sunday and it's killing me. I don't care but I have to run tomorrow - I was going to try for a run today but it was raining & snowing and I was told not to get any of my wounds wet in case of bacteria/infections - apparently if either one occurs in my left elbow or left knee I'm in big trouble. I wish I could at least do some core work or squats but that requires some excessive bending and that hurts like hell right now.

I need to run so bad, with all the stuff this week I'm so stressed and the only way to unstress is by running. I have a ToK test tomorrow & a bio lab:S. Thursday is going to be even worst, have to get to school by 7:30 to start writing my bio quest since my French oral is at 9:00-9:15 (during 1st) so inorder to have time to finish my quest I have to get to school really early, I have also have the toK presentation, and a math test that day - 4/4 evaluations:S.

I'm so scared for my French oral, my teacher has a really weird accent (cross b/w quebecois & english) so I can't understand her and 2/3 of the oral is a conversation. I really really hope mine doesn't get sent to the IBO. As of this moment I'm not even done writing my scripted part however the stuff I have written is decent enough and I can just say it - I really hope I get a 6 for French (and a 6 for math).

My ToK presentation is going to be awesome, we're doing a Philsopher's AA with Kant, Hume, Descates, Locke, & Spinoza (ME!) where we kind of discuss our beliefs (as our philosopher) and we bring in aspects of their life - it's really quirky and cute. I hope we get a 90 on it :)

Kind of disappointed in myself about the bio test that we got back, I didn't even make the 70 mark - I'm like.5% off - I knew the stuff but I made so many stupid mistakes like switch up Na & K for the protein pump (0/6) - honestly in 2 questions I went from a 80 to a 69% - it sucks. I did really well in multiple choice but my teacher is really strict on SA. Well I'm learning a lot in that class at least - I'm going to try to kick ass on the quest on Thurs - our group got everything right on the first try in the review activity we did in class today:)

***listening to l'invasione degli omini verd - great Italian rock band
***French oral topic = Brigitte Bardot

la presentation francais

J'ai fait ma presentation francais aujourd'hui, j'ai fini! Je suis contente que j'aie presenté!
I have to say while I'm relieved I'm done I'm still so upset b/c I did 70%+ of the work, Vicky did 30%, and the last partner did nothing. As in 0%. Sure, she went out and brought some stuff but I could have done that. She attempted to write a script which consisted of her copy and pasting parts of our brouchure - no additonal research and not written in conversational tone. I had to rewrite the script within 24h and in that time period she kept on emailing me to send it to her - it's not my fault her script sucked so bad I had to rewrite it and why is it that she took 4 days to copy and paste and it's ok but I have to write an entire script in my 3rd language in 24h. My mom did more work than her. I love my mommy; she painted most if not all our poster/murals, made 30something paper boats, helped me make 50+ potatoe-haddock pancakes, a pie, & 25 crepes and b/c K doesn't want to pay for food and apparently thinks I should pay for all my parents offered to pay for the cost of feeding 25 people. Honestly my parents are amazing, not only did they have to let us use my house they had to feed my group (I still can't believe K came to my house that time without eating breakfast or lunch - what am I? a free food centre?). I honestly wanted to kill K today when she told me that she didn't know her lines yet for the puppet show, honestly she didn't do anything the whole project, is it too much to ask to memorize a few lines? She went to bed before 12, I went to bed at 5something in the morning. She didnt have to do anything but I spent the whole night cooking and didn't even get to practice my lines until 3am in the morning.

Anyways, I think our posters turned out quite well, I love my last minute idea of painting M. Homard - the mascot of Le Festival de Homard du Shediac. My sailboat on the poster above the classroom is a fail though, it looks rediculous but the ones my mom painted looked amazing. My christmas in the classroom was also a fair - some forest we had, 2 trees. - I think I'm going to ask Madame for the pictures of the presentation and post a few up.

I hate how I have the inability to be mean, anyone else would have already gone to the teacher and told her about the lack of work done by a partner but I sucked it up and carried onwards. I hate how we could potentially get the same mark even though I did most of the work. I hate this. I also hate how I could have not written her part so nicely, I could have made mistakes on purpose so she would mess up. Personally I don't need a script so I don't know why I was so nice as to write one when I didn't need one for myself - why did I put myself through so much stress and work when it wasn't needed?I need to put my foot down and stop being so nice.

Must go finish ToK presentation & do my math hw....

***so scared, didn't really eat today
-too nervous to eat breakfast
-too nervous + no time to eat lunch
-ate 3 potatoe pancakes + bits of pie crust during presentation
-apple
-orange
-little pasta w/mushrooms + shrimp when I got up from my much needed 6h nap
-pineapple
-pastry thing
-grapes

Je veux tuer une personne! C'est le plus importante projet pour Francais mais le traville qu'elle fait c'est mal

Je ne suis pas content, je ne suis pas heureuse. Le 2 mars est la date pour le plus importante projet orale de ma vie pour francais mais j'ai une partenaire qui est imcompétente. Elle ne peut pas faire une chose correcte - je veux pleurer. C'est 10 h 24 mais je ne peux pas faire mes devoirs de maths ou de bio parce que je dois corrige le script pour le projet - alors, si je suis correcte je n'ai pas besoin un script mais elle le veut alors j'ai dit elle doit l'écrire mais le script est très mal est je pense qu'elle est la seule personne qui peut comprendre. Ma autre patenaire le pense est très mal aussi - c'est ennuyent que je dois faire les choses que je pense que c'est inutile. Je pense que je peux faire la presentation sans un script mais elle pense que nous avons besoin un script - je detest les scripts beaucoup car j'aime etre fluide quand je parle - avec un script je suis robotique. J'ai crée la brochure et faire les peintures, ma autre partenaire a crée les choses pour notre spectacle de marionnettes - nous avons travillé beaucoup mais la primère partenaire fait un petit petit et les choses qu'elle fait sont imcompétent.

Je suis fatiguée et je veux dormier mais je ne peux pas - je ne suis pas content que je sois en cette position.

Final Decision

I have to hand in my course selection form today, I haven't decided whether or not to stay in IB but after dicussion with my IB coordinator I have decided I will delay that decision until midterms - I will hand in my course selection form and register for the 2010-2011 academic school year as a main stream student. However, if at midterms my bio mark is decent I will switch back to the IB program, this way I can play safe and if I decide to drop the IB program afterall I will get the courses I want. The downside is b/c I will not be handing in my form as an IB student now I will not be guaranteed a spot for economics and I will have to take the history/political science package instead. I think this is the best way to handle such a decision now, to ensure I will have a chance at getting into a good university after high school. I don't know if I will regret this decision but I think I am making the right choice.

Rollercoaster Ride of Decisions.

I am back to 50%-50% in the case of whether or not to stay in IB. I was down to 80% for leaving the program earlier today after talking to my guidance counselor but after talking with my dad I'm back to 50-50. My guidance counselor looked at my marks last semester and told me to drop, the only thing is, he doesn't understand that after this year my math & french don't count and the possiblity of getting 80%+ in both easily after the exams is very high. The reason to why I want to stay in IB is for IB english & IB economics, next year I'm basically taking only English (HL), Econ (HL), Chem (HL), & Bio (SL) + exercise science (regular stream course). In the worst case scenario I do poorly in both Chem & Bio but b/c of my excessiveness in taking summer school courses + language courses I can always replace Chem & Bio w/either exercise science, polisci, physics, or italian and submit to universities English (2), Econ, French, Math (2), physics, exercise science, polisci, and italian. I am so lost.....

****interesting run today
-some guy walking his dog stopped & stared at my shorts
-some old ladies told me to put some clothes on
-some guy smoking pot said 'wow'