Lost & Confused

During the course-selection assembly today the admin announced that they thought students should have at least 70s going into gr 12 if they continue the IB program, I am so lost about what to do, especially since I basically failed last semester and I only have a 65% in chem so I don't know if I should continue. I really should not have slacked so much last semester - I think if I were to continue I would be fine but I don't know if the school thinks I should continue. I want to continue IB but I don't think I should....it's hard to make this decision b/c I spent 3 years thinking of graduating as an IB student.

I'm so confused with what to major in and all that too, at dinner tonight my dad revealed how much he dislikes the idea of me majoring in Kine. He then enforced his opinion that I should study marketing or economics. I love the idea of studying Kine. but at the same time I'm not sure how hard the calculus is, I'm not doing too well in IB SL math so yeah...I kind of like the idea of the Kine. BA + Marketing but my dad still doesn't like that, I'm so confused and lost. I need to know whether to continue IB or not so I can choose courses according either that or what I want to major in so I can pick my courses....

Lost. Confused. Litte. Sheep

IT band is tight but I think I did a 8k PR

IT band is tight, stretched it last night with some yoga poses and it helped alot but I'm still tight. I expected my run today to be horrible but it was pretty sweet - I think I pr'ed for 8k b/c I ran with the club until roughly 2.5k and my watch said it was 3:17, I finished my run (10-11k) at 3:48 hence 31min for that 8kish run. I'm pretty surprised since I took it pretty light today with my IT band tight and all. I need to get back on track with my running, took some days off last week b/c my IT band was tight and I just wasn't feeling well - need to get back to training with the Southlake Half less than 3 months away.

Leafs vs. Sharks tonight!
Kadri got called up as well as Stalberg & Deveaux - haha Deveaux, will never forget the mental harm I pressed to him - me still thinks he can't look at an Asian girl without flinching
Go Leafs Go!

**** 11:11 we lost tonight, good try boys

Sem 2 is going to kill

Start of new semester and start of a new death; this semester is heavy on work. My bio homework for this week is making my head spin and making me want to cry, on top of that I have to work on both my group oral for French and my individual oral for French, as well as a ton of math homework on vectors, and a paper and oral presentation for ToK. I wish I could start on this boatload right now but first I have to do all that Italian homework I have - still have to read a story and answer some questions and do a written assignment on the song Volare - such a beautiful song. - Italian quiz on imperfetto tomorrow!

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity as I take on so many things, apparently I am no longer a sub for Parliamentary Debate, but an actual debater - not sure whether to be happy about it or to be scared of the extra work I'll have to do. On the plus side, my partner has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen; they're fluid, big, brown, and warm - kind of like melted chocolate♥

I took my 3rd day off running this week even though I'm supposed to be back to "inseason" but my thighs are killing from weight lifting on Wed - 26x4 of 45lb overhead squats + no weights single legged squats + leg lifts kill. I need to get my running back on track, I have already signed up for the Southlake Half and I really want at least a 1:38 for that race, the lower the better. I need to run well.

I had a chat with one of the track coaches yesterday and she thinks I shoud aim for OFSAA track - I don't think so, making it to centrals this year will be hard enough - especially since I'm more specialized in long distance running. Running 3000m is a sprint and a pain for me, I'm hoping to get to centrals for steeplechase this year but honestly, my 1500m time isn't looking good - I just don't have enough speed. OFSAA should have long distances such as an half marathon.

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je veux visiter Quebec avec mes amies après les examens de BI.

Today's Easter Island

ToK Today:
In Brief: Easter Island
In 1772, Cooke approached Easter Island where the explorers saw beautiful wooden statues however when they entered the island they found remnants of people - no one was alive. Everyone on the island was dead, these people had a religion where they had to revere to their gods and they believed to do so they had to build these beautiful statutes, in order to do so they chopped all the trees and vegetation. There is proof that these people knew they would starve and die by doing so but they kept on proceeding.

We think that these people were so stupid but in truth, we are the exact same - instead of a small island putting themselves into extinction, we today, are putting a whole planet into extinction. Today, we aren't necessarily directly building statues of gods but we are building beautiful skyscrapers of metal, polluting automobiles, and harmful nuclear weapons - we are building 'beautiful metal statues' and even though we know by doing so we are harming the earth and ourselves in the long road we continue to do so. We are no different from the people of Easter Island. Just think, some of the most furtile land in our earth is now covered by concrete & asphalt, take Toronto for example, Toronto has some of the most furtile land on our planet but nothing can be grown here - as we continue to "progress and develop" we are essentially destroying the things we need. Those 'beautiful' nuclear weapons developed by humans? we know it will kill us yet we continue to develop new ones - why? These will only harm us - in a few years we will be the people of Easter Island - we will be the people others study who have put themselves into extinctions through our worship of the gods of materialism & self power.

New Semester Tomorrow, going to buckle down and actually try.

New semester tomorrow, I'm actually kind of excited b/c it's going to be a fresh start and this semester I'm actually going to try. Last semester I only tried for math and english, and kind of dismissed chem and french which may be the reason why I have high 60s- low 70s in both - well my math is a low 60 even though I tried and I have a high 70 in english (stupid Frye test & exam is costing me a 80). Getting exam marks tomorrow, not looking forward to it b/c I know I bombed all of them:(. I'm still trying to decide whether to continue IB or not, I want to continue but it's honestly giving me really bad marks so I kind of want to quit. I think whether or not I continue depends on what I get in bio - if it's really high 80s or low 90s I'm def staying but anything lower I think I'm going to drop. I looked online and I need at least a 83% to get into kine. at McGill - if I were in academic I would get 90% easy but IB = low 70s and even high 60s. I don't know what to do, I'm so lost and confused.

***saw When in Rome w/J today. Such a cute movie. Love how I could understand the Italian in the movie.

What you wear when shopping matters

I got a new pair of saucony today! A sweet pair of ProGrid Guides, I forgot to ask how heavy they were but they were pretty light compared to the TR3s I have right now, going to be great running on road with them. But my point is, what you wear when shopping really affects the service you get, I was at another mall yesterday and the guys at the same chain treated me like crap. I was wearing sweats, minimal makeup (only eyeliner), with my hair down and just crazy b/c I hadn't had time to do anything when I was rushing to get to Italian earlier that morning, the guys at the store ignored me but all rushed to help this pretty girl with big boobs. Honestly, I find it hilarious and I know if the CEO of this rather large sporting group in Canada were to find out, hell would arise, b/c honestly, I probably spend more money at this chain and their counterparts than that girl a year, she'll buy maybe 1 or 2 pairs of sporting shoes a year from this chain while I need a new pair every 3 or 4 months = at least 4 pairs a year. ***I have different shoes for different terrain (dry road, wet road, icy road &etc), different shoes for racing (roadracing & spikes for XC & track). Anyways, when I noticed this yesterday I decided to do an experiment today when I went to buy the shoes I had put onhold, at another mall, I actually had on a sweater that didn't totally crash with my sweats, put up my hair in a ponyhair, and some makeup on, wow, the service I had today was great. The guys didn't yell at me for the rather more intense than normal shoe testings I tend to like to do, it really was great service. Note to self, always look good when you shop when you want great service.

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I'm still laughing at how the woman at footlocker was trying to tell me about shoes, thanks for the tips but I honestly think I know my running shoes
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Took my 2nd day off of running straight, left hip is a bit tight - start half training tomorrow
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Taking inventory of my runnings shoes, I'm still dizzy from trying to count

What is wrong with people?

I'm normally not a fan of profanity, especially written profanity, but what the fuck is wrong with people? I am so sick and tired of people putting me down and just being fucking selfish and inconsiderate. I was leaving the mall today with my mom and my aunt, we were crossing when this fucking driver starts to turn and honk at us. We didn't really respond other than stick our hands out to notify him that we were crossing as we had the right of way, he then fucking sticks his tongue out at us, we ignored this once again and continued to cross, as we're crossing he starts to turn again toward us and stick his tongue out and honk. Obviously I was really pissed b/c we're crossing and he knows we're crossing yet he decides to continue to turn and honk and do some stupid shit, he could have hit us - he was by no means paying attention to driving rules. HE WAS A FUCKING ASS WITH A FUCKED UP SENSE OF HUMOR WITH THE MATURITY OF SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO BE IN DIAPERS WHO SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF. What more can I do than swear the the fucking driver, I asked him very loudly so he could hear me through his window what the fuck he was doing, he then drove off.

My aunt who I had once considered to be my second mom started yelling at me in the car about how drivers like that do things like that so people like me would "lose something" lose what? other than my fucking temper? She then went on and on and on about how I was a disgrace to Asians with my temper and swearing and that she was ashamed to be with me. HELLO, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT ASKED TO JOIN MY SHOPPING TRIP YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THERE. But it gets better than this, she then started to compare me to that driver and said there was no difference b/w us and that I was just as bad, HOLY SHIT, I SWORE AT THE DRIVER, HE'S THE ONE THAT TRIED TO KILL US AND HE'S THE ONE THAT DOESN'T OBEY TRAFFIC LAWS AND WILL POTENTIALLY KILL SOMEONE AND NOW I'M JUST AS BAD AS HIM?????WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. I am so sick of this, my mom had invited her over for dinner earlier but right now, I really just want her to leave my life and never come back b/c swearing is just as bad as almost hitting someone in a car? I don't think so. I am just so sick of bad drivers, honestly in my province half of the drivers should not have their liscence, everytime I leave for a run I have at least 2 cars who disobey traffic laws making them almost hit me with their huge ass cars....